Your Mental Health Partner

Who is Coach Matt Doming?

I was a mentally challenged kid with a horrible past who turned out to be a mentally healthy adult. Now, I am a psychologist who is paying it forward. I know exactly how it feels like to be in the rock-bottom, and I learned how to rise up to the success and happiness that all of us deserve.

MY STORY

Have you ever believed any of these statements?

“I am not enough,”

“I am not worthy,”

“I am unloved,”

“No one cares for me,”

“Others are always better than me,”

“The world is a negative place,”

“Life is suffering.”

Have you ever felt that your problems seem to be never-ending, that the world seems to be against you always?

Have you ever thought that you can’t do anything right, as if everything you do is not enough?

Hopeless? Helpless? Feeling worthless?

I completely understand if you ever did or you ever do.

In fact, I personally know what it feels like to be down, to hit rock bottom, and to experience mental illnesses.

MY CHALLENGING CHILDHOOD

The Beginning

My childhood was very challenging. I grew up without my parents by my side as they worked in Manila while I was left to my mother’s parents in Cebu. But it ended up me spending most of my time with my neighbors as my grandparents were also busy with their business.

Life was tolerable though as I get to play with my friends and lucky enough that I felt the love from my grandparents. It was already fine until everything collapsed.

My parents returned to Cebu without work. My grandparents were forced to withdraw most of their business capital to bail my uncle who shot a man dead inside our house. Our house was demolished. There was a fear that it was cursed due to the murder.

The economic struggle was real. My parents were forced to leave my mother’s residence and live with my father’s parents.

I thought that was the worst. It turned out it was just the beginning.

10 Years of Emotional Torture

I was shocked as a kid.

From a wide playground in the province, I would end up living for the rest of my life in a constricted space within the City.

No playground, only high rise walls, and busy streets. To be honest, the new place was like a squatter’s area.

I was very sad.

I thought there could be nothing worse until I learned that my grandmother hated me and hated my mother.

Every time my parents are away, I was emotionally abused.

I was insulted, criticized, badmouthed, cursed, and even physically hurt almost every day of my life for the next 10 years.

I was constantly bullied by my cousins and neighbors. Words like “mahina ka,” “wala kang kwenta,” “salot ka,” were my everyday routine.

Years of Mental Health Problems

As a result, I became depressed and anxious. I was timid and shy. I had social anxiety. I did not want people to see me. I felt inferior. I had separation anxiety as I cried horribly whenever my mother goes to work.

I was a mentally challenged kid.

I even developed obsessive-compulsive symptoms. Did you know that every time I see a religious image before, I always stopped to pray for 10 minutes? That prayer has a specific word and gesture that I should follow, or else I would repeat it. Believe me, I did it for at least 10 times every day. Every night, I get up at bed 5 times just to make sure that the door was locked.

I had tick disorder. They say those were mannerisms. From sticking my tongue every minute to bending my neck every now and then, to deliberately blinking my eyes at the sky for almost twice every minute, to deliberately coughing, and to biting my fingers and inner cheeks every now and then.

I had insomnia and sleeping disorders. I had difficulties falling or maintaining sleep. Almost once a week, I wake up in the wee hours of the night crying and screaming for hours with no apparent reason.

I had bulimia. I was called pig because I was obese. It was insecurity. Every time I feel guilty after eating too much, I forced myself to vomit. I spent an hour every night when everyone is asleep just to binge in physical exercise.

I had kleptomania. My mother was once shocked where I got all of my toy collections. She never knew back then that I stole all of them. I stole from the stores, from my classmates, from my friends, from my cousins, and from my mother. I remember feeling terribly guilty after my mother cried for what I did.

I hurt and wound myself. Every time my grandmother emotionally attacked me, I punched the wall so hard that it made my fist swell. I got cutters and sharp sticks and secretly wound myself with them.

I was planning to commit suicide. Every day during those trying years of my life I felt hopeless. I thought my life would forever be that way. So I thought of ways how to kill myself. If not because of fear of hell, I would have really jumped from our school building or choke myself with my father’s belt. I remember myself rehearsing suicide, pointing that kitchen knife to my stomach. I was waiting for the perfect time.

The Transformation

I thought my suffering will not end. My life was a mess. But 11 years later, my life turned out to be the total opposite. I am now financially free and stress-free, a husband and a father. I am now living happily with my family.

I am living my dream, working every day for my passion. I have found my purpose in life, which is helping people who are struggling in life to achieve success and happiness that they deserve.

I finally found a way to overcome my past. I still remember what happened many years ago, they are still fresh in my mind. But I do not feel pain anymore. In fact, this is one of the wonderful stories I often share with my wife and close friends.

Someone asked me, “If given a chance to change your past, would you do it?” Do you know what my answer was? My answer was NO, a big NO. If not because of my past, I will not be strong today. If not because of my horrible past, I would not be motivated and be hungry for a good life which I am now living today.

I often look up the sky, not because of tick disorder, but as a gesture of prayer for my grandmother who passed away.

I never had the chance to tell her I forgive her when she was still alive. I remember not attending her funeral and not heeding to her request to return to Cebu (since I was in Manila during that time) just days before her death.

She waited for me. I wondered if she would have said sorry. But I forgive her with all my heart today.

What changed my life for the Better

I wonder what changed my life for the better. Then I remember it started with a decision.

I said to myself 11 years ago, that I will really change my life for the better.

I realized that what really helped me change is my constant dedication to change, to not return to the hard life I once experienced.

But I would not have done it without the help of people who truly understood my situation. My counselors, therapists, mentors, advisers, and spiritual directors were the instruments of my personal transformation.

This is the very reason why I have chosen to become a psychologist.

I want to prove to the world that people can always change for the better no matter what state of life they came from.

Personal development is for everybody.

Everyone deserves a life of success and happiness.

I love my job. Because I get to pay forward what my therapists did for me before.

Here’s my advice:

Here’s my advice to you. Your suffering, hardships, and problems are temporary. They usually go away.

The problem comes when we cling to them. The problem comes when we identify ourselves with them.

Your suffering becomes part of your life when you become hopeless and helpless.

You don’t deserve to suffer. You deserve a life of success and happiness.

You have a purpose to fulfill. You have the potential to make a positive impact on the world and to the lives of others.

I want to see you live the wonderful life that you deserve.

I want to help you.

Because like you, I’ve been through worse.

I came from a poor family and from a clan full of people with mental health challenges. Some of them suffered depression, anxiety, personality disorders, and the list goes on.

Some of my relatives were murderers, thieves, hired killers, gang leaders, addicts, and problematics. This is my family line. I had a very troubled past.

But I turned out to be different. I turned out to be someone who is making a positive impact on the world. I turned out to be happy and successful in my life.

I consider my life as a testimony that we all deserve to be successful and happy.

Let’s work together to reach a better life that is waiting for you.